I Need Air
by 9daysnew
Summary: Loki fell, all because he let go. From the grace of his father, into the life of sickly, desperate Steve Rogers. Loki must find the Tesseract to reclaim his rightful place in Asgard, though his relationship with Steve does complicate the matter. Pre-Avengers/Post-Thor, pre-serum!Steve/Loki
1. Chapter 1

**I Need Air**

1.

Loki fell.

It wasn't the kind of fall you take after you trip, nor was it a figurative fall into passionate emotion. No, Loki was falling because he let go.

And as sure as he was falling in space, Loki knew he was falling in time. Hurtling backwards—or was it forwards?—into an unfamiliar front, he knew he would soon be at a disadvantage. A god, out of proper context, was only as strong as his will—though that was no worry. Wayward, hell-bent Loki had never been known for his mild manner. Yet an iron will can only take you so far as a god; as much as you believe in yourself, another must believe in you.

"Just one," Loki thought, feeling his body reach terminal velocity. His arrival to Midgard was imminent. "If I can tame one, I can tame them all."


	2. Chapter 2

**I Need Air**

II.

When Loki opened his eyes all he could see was a gaunt young man leaning over him. He could feel two bony fingers pressing into the side of his neck, presumably checking for a pulse. Loki started to sit up, but the boy gently pushed him back down.

"Hold your horses, pal, you just took a nasty fall," the deep voice took Loki by surprise; the young man leaned into Loki's space to look deeply into his eyes.

The Jotunn scowled and knocked the boy's hand away from his neck, irrationally angry. "Give me some air, boy," Loki said in a low voice. "You know not who you're dealing with."

"Hey, pal, I'm no boy—I'm a man," the young man puffed himself up defensively.

It was a pathetic gesture, Loki thought, seeing as he could break this _man_ with one hand. "Oh, really, a man, how nice," the Jotunn condescended. "How old are you? Twelve?"

The skinny young man sat back on his heels, leaning away from Loki. "No," he scoffed, clearly offended. "I'm 22. 23 in July." He looked at Loki through narrowed eyes, then slowly extended a hand towards him. "I'm Steve—Steven Rogers."

Loki blinked at Steve's hand.

Steve frowned. "Where are you from? What's the costume for?"

It dawned on Loki that he was supposed to take this man's hand. "I'm Loki Laufeyson," he said as Steve pulled him to his feet. It was surprising that Steve _could_ pull him to his feet, even more surprising was the man's height—he was almost as tall as frost giant Loki. "Where I come from is not important."

Steve looked at Loki askance, his frown deepening. "Are you some kind of German?" he asked suspiciously.

"A German—what? Why should it matter if I was German?"

Steve's eyes went wide. "Don't you know there's a war on?"

"A war?" Loki echoed. "When…" He trailed off, looking into the distance over Steve's shoulder. His eyes snapped back into focus and locked onto Steve. "What year is it, Rogers?"

"1941, it's May 17," Steve added helpfully. "Though I don't see how that would—." He cut the sentence off when he saw the strange expression on Loki's face—a strange mixture of victory, determination, and malicious intent; the obviously foreign man was smiling at Steve almost wickedly.

"Quit beating your gums and help a friend out," Loki slung his arm around Steve's shoulders. "Where can a guy get some clothes around here?" Using the leverage of his height Loki pushed Steve forward, out of the alley and onto the street. "And maybe a cigarette."

Steve gave Loki a calculating look. "Where did you say you were from, again?"


	3. Chapter 3

I NEED AIR

III.

Loki stood, shivering, in the foyer of a shabby, seedy, and somewhat damp brownstone in the heart of Brooklyn. He was not far from where he woken up after his "nasty fall," and that pleased him. Loki would be near to a portal to Asgard, then, after all.

Loki pulled his hand from his pocket to fiddle with the tie around his neck. He felt like he was choking, but Steve said he would soon get used to that. Steve had also assured Loki that the abnormally high, and tight, waist on his pants was the fashion.

"_Where are you from, again?" Steve had asked for the umpteenth time after he had taken Loki back to his cramped apartment to "get him into some proper clothes." _

_"I'm from Asgard," Loki said matter-of-factly, his back turned to his companion. The Jotunn had looked about the shabby one-room apartment that was decorated with charcoal and pencil drawings. He idly wondered who had created the pieces. _

_"Asgard?" Steve echoed, shifting his weight from foot to foot. _

_Loki had looked over his shoulder at Steve as he buttoned his borrowed shirt. The young man's fingernails were dirtied with something black like soot… charcoal. "Yes, Asgard. It's a faraway place, hard to get to." He frowned, a distant look in his eyes. "Hard to leave." _

_Steve raised an eyebrow at Loki but hadn't pressed any further. "So where are you staying?" he asked as Loki inspected a portrait of a thin woman. _

_"Who's this?" Loki had asked, reaching out to touch the drawing. _

_Steve stepped between the strange man and the portrait. "That's my mother." _

_Loki nodded slowly, and drew his hand back. "You look like her." _

_There was a pause. _

_"Thank you," Steve had finally said before repeating, "Where are you staying?" He picked up a wide black tie from the bed and offered it to Loki. _

_Loki had taken the tie and placed it around his neck, fiddling with the ends for a moment before looking at Steve with a frown on his face. _

_Steve had laughed, "Here, I'll get it." He moved towards Loki, but stopped short when the other man sneered. _

"_How am I ever supposed to learn if you do it for me?" Loki had asked, and Steve stepped back. _

"_Alright, pal," the blond man said, and untied the knot around his own neck. "Here, like this." Steve had retied the fabric slowly, clearly demonstrating the movements to Loki, who was mimicking him. Soon, a large, lumpy knot formed at the hollow of Loki's throat._

Loki tugged at the tie around his neck, still feeling like he was choking in the foyer of the brownstone, but at least the knot was presentable this time. Steve was most useful in helping to assimilate him to mortal culture, but he believed this necktie would be the death of him. Loki smirked to himself, he could imagine it—the great Loki brought down by a simple length of fabric. His smirk hardened into a deep frown. At least no mortal woman would be the death of him.

"Mr. Laufeyson?" a voice called out from the front door of the brownstone, startling Loki from his reverie. A portly man in a brown suit stepped into the foyer, carrying a slim briefcase.

The Jotunn smiled artlessly. "Ah, Mr. Johnson," he said smoothly, reaching out to shake the man's hand. "I trust the contract is in order?"

Mr. Johnson set his briefcase on the ground, and pulled a small stack of papers out of it. "Yes, Mr. Laufeyson," he said, filing through the papers before selecting one to hand to Loki. "If you would just sign here, the residence is all yours."

"_Where are you staying?" Steve had said again, a little more insistently. _

_Loki had glared at Steve; the young man had interrupted his knot-making. He shrugged. "I don't know; I'll get a room at a hotel." _

_Steve had frowned, moving to sit on the narrow bed that took up most of the room. "Are you staying long in the city?" _

_Loki shrugged again. "I don't know, maybe. Depends on the business, I guess." _

"_Business?" Steve had asked warily. _

"And the furnishings are included?" Loki smiled, maybe a little too widely, more like a baring of his teeth at the portly man. Loki took the contract from him, along with a proffered pen. He signed with a flourish, carefully dotting the "I". "There," he said, somewhat smugly. "May I have the keys?" Loki held out his hand.

"Ah, yes," the man in the brown suit said, fishing the aged keys out of his pocket. "Mr. Laufeyson, there were some, ah, concerns, about your ability to pay for the residence?" The portly man made it sound like a question, rather than a statement.

Loki smiled with all his teeth again; he could tell he frightened the man. "No need to worry, Mr. Johnson," Loki said placatingly. "As you know, I have just come into a large inheritance from my late father." The Jotunn looked down in silence for a moment, mocking the gesture of respect. "And if you were to make an inquiry, you would find I'm gainfully employed with the Office of Strategic Services." Loki cocked an eyebrow and gazed evenly down at the portly man, who was rather short. "Though I am sure such an inquiry would not be made, as it would be a waste of resources." Loki tilted his head to the side by a fraction. "Don't you know there's a war on, Mr. Johnson? Trouble's brewing on the homefront; we mustn't waste our energy on petty minutia."

"_Yes, business," Loki had said, looking at Steve sharply from the corner of his eye. "I am a business man, my commodity is information." Steve's eyes widened, but he had remained silent. "Jeepers, Steve, don't look at me like that. I won't be selling information to the Huns."_

Mr. Johnson was clearly startled, taken aback by Loki's point-blank comment. "Yes," the man said after a tense pause, drawing the word out into two syllables. "We mustn't." Mr. Johnson slid the signed contract back into his briefcase. Looking up at Loki, Mr. Johnson held out his hand for another handshake. "It was… nice… doing business with you, Mr. Laufeyson."

"_No, you won't," Steve said firmly. "Because that would be treason." He gazed at Loki evenly, as if trying to weigh the Jotunn's loyalties. _

_Finally he spoke again. "There is a brownstone, not far from here; the owner has passed away." _

_Loki raised an eyebrow. "This is important because…?" _

"_Because the house is for sale. You look like the kind of guy who can afford his own house," Steve said simply before cracking a smile. "Even if you don't know how to knot your own tie." _

Loki took the portly man's hand. "Yes, Mr. Johnson, I won't soon forget what you've done for me," he said, shaking Mr. Johnson's hand with a too-tight grip.

The man swallowed hard, visibly nervous. "It was no trouble at all, Mr. Laufeyson," he said slowly, carefully.

Loki smiled, a true smile this time, and that seemed to unnerve Mr. Johnson even more. "Good," Loki said. "Good."


	4. Chapter 4

I NEED AIR

IV.

"Could you please not do that?" Steve asked for the fifth time that morning. It was also the fifth cigarette Loki had attempted to light in his presence, but who was counting. "Look, it's not just a bad habit, it also makes it hard for me to breathe."

Loki scowled at Steve, not moving to extinguish the cigarette. "Can't a man smoke in his own house anymore? Jeepers, Steve, if I'd wanted a nag, I would have found a wife."

Steve scowled at the other man. "Thanks for that," he muttered; Loki just looked at him levelly. He _had_ put out the other four cigs. "Could you at least open a window?"

The Jotunn sighed in defeat, then moved to open the kitchen window. At least it was warm outside; the late-May weather in New York was pleasant, Loki thought. "What's your beef with smoking, anyways?" he asked, leaning towards the window to take a leisurely drag on his cigarette.

"I told you," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "It makes it hard for me to breathe, so if you could please just stand over there, that'd be great." Loki cocked an eyebrow; the kid didn't really have much room to be demanding right now. Steve had shown up on Loki's stoop that morning, all of his worldly possessions crammed haphazardly into a battered suitcase while his artwork was filed neatly in a leather portfolio.

"_I've been evicted," he had said morosely, looking up at Loki like the very picture of a soul in need. "I've got nowhere else to go."_

"_I see," Loki said, leaning against the door jamb. "Why did you get evicted?"_

_Steve had shrugged. "I don't know the real reason, I've always been a good tenant," he explained. "I'm a bachelor, I live alone. Money's tight and I'm planning on joining the military."_

_Loki let a few moments pass before he replied, relishing the power he had over Steve. "And what do you want me to do about it?"_

_The younger man shuffled his feet on the cement stoop awkwardly, his face flushing slightly. "Um, I was hoping you'd let me stay with you," he admitted. "Not for free, of course!" Steve was quick to add. "I'll pay rent, or earn my keep, or… Look, you won't even know I'm here!"_

_For the first time since Loki had opened the door to a beleaguered Steve, he laughed, the smile lines materializing on his face. "I'm just joshing with you, kid," he'd said, stepping aside so Steve could enter the brownstone. "You can stay here."_

Loki turned with a sardonic smile to Steve, who sat at the kitchen table drawing a still life composed of random objects he'd pulled out of his suitcase. He'd said it was an art school assignment, and promptly took over Loki's kitchen with his art supplies.

"You know, Steve," Loki drawled, "I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but… I can tell you're here." Steve didn't say anything, just threw the other man a nasty look. The Jotunn raised his brows and took another drag on his cigarette, this time blowing the smoke at Steve, just for fun.

Loki could pinpoint the moment Steve breathed the smoke; his eyes went wide and his hand clutched at his chest while he gasped for air.

The coughing began. Loki wasn't worried at first; he turned away and took another drag on his cigarette. Steve was still coughing, but what did that matter? The kid got what was coming to him, Loki thought, being so presumptuous at Loki's own house. Surely he was just putting on a show for effect.

Loki glanced over his shoulder at Steve, annoyed that the young man kept coughing. "Will you quit that? I was just having some fun."

"I— can't—," Steve wheezed, both hands clutching at his chest. The young man was drawn and pale, covered in a sheen of sweat. The coughing continued, getting worse, and Loki began to get worried. Maybe Steve wasn't making it up— his fingers flexed on his chest, and the Jotunn noticed that Steve's fingernails and fingertips were blue.

"Jesus Christ!" he shouted, immediately stubbing out his cigarette and rushing over to Steve; that particular shade of blue was not natural, even to Jotnar. The young man's neck muscles were tense, straining beneath his skin as Steve's Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his efforts to breathe. "Jesus, Steve, what's wrong?"

Steve just shook his head, making horrible, deep wheezing noises when he tried to breathe in. Slowly prying one hand off of his chest, he gestured shakily to his suitcase. "Nebulizer," he said, his breath whistling through his teeth, and Loki shot off to the suitcase, wondering what the hell a nebulizer was.

Unclasping the latches on the leather suitcase and flinging it open, the Jotunn dug through Steve's possessions, looking for anything strange that could be a nebulizer. "Christ, Steve, do you have all the nine realms stored in here?" he muttered, frantically tossing clothing and papers aside. The awful whistling and wheezing was growing quieter now, and Loki scrambled faster, sifting through his companion's things.

His fingers hit upon something solid towards the bottom of the suitcase, and Loki snatched it up. It was a box, conveniently labeled "Parke-Davis Gaseptic Nebulizer". Jumping to his feet, Loki ran to Steve's side while he fumbled to open the box. A strange glass object fell into his hands. Two glass bulbs, one with an open spout, and the other attached to a red rubber ball.

"What the hell is this?" Loki said through gritted teeth, dropping the nebulizer in Steve's lap. Steve's hands slowly moved towards the nebulizer, picking it up and putting the spout to his mouth. The young man tried to pump the rubber ball, but his tremors were too strong. His lips were blue now, too, trembling around the spout.

Loki took hold of the nebulizer, squeezing the rubber ball for his companion as Steve inhaled loudly. He began to cough again, and Loki cursed. "Come on, Steve!" he said firmly, pressing the nebulizer into Steve's mouth and pumping the ball rapidly. Steve inhaled again, and it sounded like something was rattling in his chest. He inhaled once, twice before his tremors began to calm down. It was a minute before the rattling in Steve's chest went away, and two minutes before Steve could squeeze the rubber bulb himself.

As Steve took over the nebulizer, Loki slumped into the chair next to him, breathing a little quickly himself. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Steve scared Loki— he was fond of Steve, and didn't want to be alone again.

Loki scowled and shook his head. He liked being alone, he preferred it. He didn't need anyone, especially not a sickly mortal who couldn't even handle some smoke. He dropped his head on the table with a grunt.

"Loki," a feeble voice interrupted his thoughts. "Loki?"

He lifted his head to find Steve peering at him, the nebulizer in his hands. "Yeah?" Loki snapped.

"Thanks," Steve wheezed, but this time it didn't sound like the kid was on his death bed.

"Thanks?" Loki asked with a laugh. "I almost killed you!"

"You listened," Steve said simply. "You listened and got my nebulizer. Most guys would tell me to stop being a girl."

Loki looked at Steve blankly. "What does being female have to do with anything?"

Steve laughed, which turned into a cough, and Loki sat up straight, reaching for the nebulizer. "I'm fine," Steve whispered after a moment. "The doctors think I'm making it up, say I just miss my mother. That I'm looking for attention." Steve's smile didn't reach his eyes. "Well, I do miss my mom, but I'm definitely not looking for attention. You didn't even hesitate to get my nebulizer. Thank you."

Loki sat in silence for a moment. He came from a world where this "asthma" didn't exist, and Steve mistook his ignorance for kindness. He nearly killed the kid because he didn't believe that Steve couldn't breathe, and he thanked him for it.

Loki narrowed his eyes, contemplating Steve. If he wanted to believe that Loki had saved his life, so be it. Maybe Steve would believe he owed Loki in some way, and make it that much easier for Loki to entangle him in his plans.

"You're welcome," the Jotunn said finally. He gave Steve a serious look. "What do you do when you're not at home?"

Steve looked grim. "Pray I don't have an attack."

Loki's lips quirked up in a smile. "Maybe you've been praying to the wrong gods."


End file.
